I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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