There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
