That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
