btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize