I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How's work?
Spinning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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