69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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