Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
