the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize