She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
