fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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