well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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