Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
