Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is Oprah even human
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
