sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
