I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
