how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
