Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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