And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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