Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
