is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
cat food counts as protein by the way
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
