omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
