I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
