You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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