I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
