My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
