We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
