Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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