yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
