It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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