I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
