oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
