how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I currently don't understand fingers.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
