I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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