I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My life is pants optional.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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