I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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