I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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