i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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