..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
