You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
two words...techno handjob
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize