Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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