My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
