Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
