It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
