im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
