I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
