i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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