marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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