pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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