ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
