this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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