At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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