You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize