You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
