i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
