he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
