After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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