I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
