I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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