??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
COCAINE IS GR8
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
