At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
