idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
