Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize